I know this issue has been discussed over and over again but it wasn't until it hits close to home that I began to give serious thoughts to it.
I received a call from my very close friend today and to say she was distraught is an understatement.
I would like to call her Ella for the purpose of this discussion. So you see Ella had been single for some time. She had been in a relationship for about 3 years but that relationship ended naturally about a year and half ago. She then decided not to have any relationship until she was very sure of the guys intention. She always told me that for her, the next step is marriage so she wouldn't waste any time getting into a relationship just for the fun of it.
Ella is a very beautiful girl and has never been void of suitors. There was this particular guy that had been chasing her for a year, but she told me she wasn't very attracted to him and that he wasn't her type. The guy however, had been very patient and persistent with her. She always told me of how kind he was to her, how he treated her like a queen and so on. With time Ella decided to give this guy a chance, since he had been on her case for sometime. She started warming up towards him and eventually they had sex.
It was after they got involved sexually that everything started going downhill. The guy reduced his calls, he was always busy, and even when Ella called he would always tell her he was going to call her back but he never did. It wasn't long before this guy requested for a break from Ella. Within 2 weeks of the break, Ella heard the guy was getting married to another woman. The worst part is that this guy attends the same church as Ella, so she would in one way or the other still be seeing this guy with his wife
I thought the days of a guy chasing girls just to get the 'cookie' was over. Why would he keep her around when he knew the relationship wasn't going anywhere? Why go through all this trouble just to get the cookie when you are obviously getting it somewhere too? I really cant understand
Moral of the story:Don't have sex!no matter how tempting it can beb
ReplyDeleteIf he really really reeally loves and is real,he wouldn't mind waiting at all.
Now Ella feels 'used' just because of the sex!
And wha kain of church is that?bet is the ones that talk about prosperity all day long instead of what God requires of us,no wonder a member would act so brazenly like that!She must report him to the elders(that is if they themselves are not worse off).
PS: being a silent reader for quiet long after seeing your AD's all over.
I like your writing skills,very free flowing and easily relatable.Keep it up.X
i agree. I stopped reading after the sex. It is cliche. Nt to be judgemental bt the woman isn't wise. I think d title should rather be: why some women don't have standards?
DeleteFor wia, men still do it wella! Whatever for we will neva know!
ReplyDeleteNext time she will keep her legs closed and if she wishes to continue on the shagging lane, then she shouldn't complain about the repercussion!
ReplyDeletei agree.
DeleteThe guy only wanted to av a taste of d snail. She can change church if she's not comfortable with seeing the couple or just get over it and stay strong.
ReplyDeletewhen a guy wants something he goes for it it doesn't matter how long or hard it is he will get but its really unfair to their prey tho as for your friend she should see a pastor it could be spiritual problem my problem here is who do we even trust this days most pastors are jus after worldly and lust interest she should report him to the pastor of the church if she were my sis i'd personally report him to the pastor haba habatically
ReplyDelete100 likes!
DeleteMen can do anything to get between the legs of a lady. When their lust is satisfied they show their intention.
I blame her not. Who is without sin should cast the first stone.
I agree with you 100%, Anon
DeleteReading this story made me very angry on ella's behalf. It was as if was me it happened to going by how angry and pained I got. And I ve been devicing ways she can get her payback i.e telling the wife to be wat happened and wat kind of scum her husband to be is,telling the pastor what happened so they can admonish the snake and possibly stop him marrying in that church,sending area boys to beat the living daylights out of him. Day to his wedding so he has a black eye on his wedding day,going to one babalawo to lay a curse on him etc. I m that angry! Its men like this that make women afraid to love or trust a man ever again. But let God judge. Ella dear,it is well. God will send u ur true man soon. Just dnt harden ur heart against all men cos there are still some good men out there. And also,dnt av sex with any man until marriage. It saves u from feeling used when it dsnt work out.
ReplyDeleteTell the wife? She would laugh at her instead, and call her desperado! The man would tell more lies to cover his act.
DeleteShe should just move on and leave that church if she can.
The guy is probably not getting anything from the wife-to-be. Ella,pls next time tell the guy to wait and he will wait if he loves you.
ReplyDeleteWat d heck so all dis long wait was jus to jump into her pants gosh some men are wicked if I were her I wil jus forgive him and allow God to DEAL wit him he must come and beg her mark my words and I'm nt leavin d church for him or his wife
ReplyDeleteI wonder also TAC.
ReplyDeleteWell, what goes round, always comes around.
Ladies, always follow your intuition! Don't ignore the red flags. She was not attracted to him, but gave in out of pity. So she feels so used.
If I where Ella, I would sit where he could see me in the church on his wedding day, just to make his heart to jump to his mouth, thinking that I might do something stupid to obstruct the wedding. And I wouldn't leave to another church either
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